That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Two words: nipple clamps
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