i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize