her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
