happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
last night I used snow as a chaser
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
