Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
