Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
