I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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