I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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