Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize