It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
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Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Come share oat with me in your robe
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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