Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
