just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
