I am puke
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
