Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
