we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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