I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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