i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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