glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
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I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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