so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
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The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
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We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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