Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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