oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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