I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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