2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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