hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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