I'm going to jail i love you
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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