Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
