I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
