my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
