I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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