I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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