i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
