the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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