i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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