I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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