she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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