But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
