fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
