Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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