I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize