would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
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