So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
