Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize