I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
