if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
