I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
