you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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