Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
