You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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