So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
