yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize