her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
