no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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