once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i think my cat just said my name.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
