Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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