We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
