So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
