Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
