Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
