but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
