You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
