Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
